Sunday, September 12, 2010

Grief: Random Grief Thoughts

A while ago I e-mailed a site that has a feature called "Ask The Rabbi" about whether or not according to them Artie was watching over me and if I was still married.  This is a Chabad Rabbi.  Chabad is a conservative form of Judaism.  This is the answer I received:

Dear Jan,
A person is made up of body and soul. And a soul survives death.

Families are connected by both body and soul. Therefore, a family’s bond remains after passing. The loved one continues to care and be aware of all that happens.
But Judaism also acknowledges the facts on the ground - life in the world of physicality. This is why. after the passing of a spouse, one is "no longer married" in regards to being able to marry someone else if they so please, etc
Let me know if this helps.

Yours truly,
Rabbi Yisroel Cotlar

It was what I had come to believe - but it was nice to hear it from an "expert".  :)

I also wanted to share a quote from Washington Irving which it would be nice to have read in some intellectual book.  It is a quote from an episode of  Criminal Minds.  Still watching way too many DVDs.  I do have a rule that I have to go out 6 days out of the week - even if it is to do one thing.  That's better than when Artie first died.  I watched all six seasons of the Sopranos in a very short time.  I won't even begin to try to figure out why I like watching crime shows better than comedy.  It's rather obvious why I avoid romances.  Well, obvious to me.  There must be some widows/widowers who love them.  That's always my main point.  Let's respect each other's differences.  Here's the quote:

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

You are all so brave.  I applaud all of us for what we do every day.  I'm saying that to you because I often forget to say it to myself.

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