Check out a book called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It's all about resistance and fear. From page 40 - "Are you paralyzed with fear? That's a good sign. Fear is good. Like self doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do...The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it." The last two lines of the book- "Don't cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you've got."
That's what sends me back to bed and my DVDs all the time - fear and resistance. I know what I want to do, what I need to do. My husband used to say to himself and others, "You won't give up failure without a fight." and he called himself "the great potential". I know all the the amazing things he accomplished but also all the work he left undone because of fear and resistance. Now I struggle without him - all the love and support and comfort and encouragement he gave me - and have to find ways to break through or follow the fear without him. That makes it harder - but perhaps that is the resistance talking - not me.
Who am I anyway? The one who wants to go join my husband NOW or the one who wants to live and accomplish all that I have left to do. Both, really. How do I settle the argument between them so the living me can live and have the patience to wait until my time here is over. No - not wait - thrive and create and not hide away. I don't know the answer but I'm still searching.
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