Monday, September 20, 2010

Fear and Resistance Doesn't Belong Only To Grief

Check out a book called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It's all about resistance and fear.  From page 40 - "Are you paralyzed with fear?  That's a good sign.  Fear is good.  Like self doubt, fear is an indicator.  Fear tells us what we have to do...The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it." The last two lines of the book- "Don't cheat us of your contribution.  Give us what you've got."

That's what sends me back to bed and my DVDs all the time - fear and resistance.  I know what I want to do, what I need to do.  My husband used to say to himself and others, "You won't give up failure without a fight."  and he called himself "the great potential".  I know all the the amazing things he accomplished but also all the work he left undone because of fear and resistance.  Now I struggle without him - all the love and support and comfort and encouragement he gave me -  and have to find ways to break through or follow the fear without him.  That makes it harder - but perhaps that is the resistance talking - not me.

Who am I anyway?  The one who wants to go join my husband NOW or the one who wants to live and accomplish all that I have left to do.  Both, really.  How do I settle the argument between them so the living me can live and have the patience to wait until my time here is over.  No - not wait - thrive and create and not hide away.  I don't know the answer but I'm still searching. 

No comments:

Post a Comment