Grief: Guerilla Tear Attack

I don't usually post twice in one day but after I figured out all this new stuff I was dressed and ready to go to the gym (having now a slight hint of a waist) and I started crying.  I mean really crying.  I could hear either my husband saying to me - or me saying to me - "Why are you doing all this now?  Why didn't you do it when Artie was alive?"  I had a lot of answers.  I looked in the mirror.  I wiped the tears away after about 10 minutes and headed out.  It is so DIFFICULT folks to do things without sharing them with those people we love who aren't alive anymore.  Please give yourself lots of self respect and self admiration for accomplishing anything - however big or small.  I hope somehow Artie is watching and forgives me for things that would have made him happy when he was alive that I didn't do then - the way I try to forgive him for things I wish he had done that he wasn't able to.  I hope our journey continues - is continuing.  I hope you made it through your day without a tear attack.  If not...don't give up the search for purpose, meaning and comfort.