Saturday, December 11, 2010

Grief: Do Dead People Have Birthdays?

I was wondering about my husband's birthday.  I always celebrate the day he was born.  I am so grateful he was in my life.  Our love goes on.  I wonder if his death date is his new birthday - the day he was born into his new form without the pain and limitations of his sick body.  I don't know.  I bought him a cupcake and I'll light a candle for him.  Last year I opened a poetry book I hadn't opened in years and found a note he'd written me that I didn't remember.  It told me not to be insecure.  Laughing - he wrote if I was insecure it would make him cry.  He told me how much he loved and adored me.  It felt like a birthday present for me on his birthday.  I don't know if anything will happen this year.

I have been posting on grief sites.  A way of saying Happy Birthday publicly as if somehow that means he will walk in the door and say, "Only kidding.  I'm not really dead."  I know that's not going to happen - but wouldn't it be splendid if it did!  I'm going to tell a story about his birthday in storytelling class tomorrow.  I know he's dead but I have my memories and my imagination.  Without those the pain would be too great.
I hope his spirit is with me.  I will keep believing that love survives death and that someday we will journey again together - or maybe we are journeying together right now.

Happy Birthday Artie.  You're my heart.  Always.  I miss you.  I love you.  I'll do my best to make you proud.

1 comment:

  1. In Judaism we mark a person's date of death. That is the day that relates to the person's entire life, and not just the moment of his birth.