Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Grief: Holiday Joy Holiday Blues Holiday Confused

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for so many things.  On the other hand, my stomach hurts and I feel totally disoriented.  Someone sent me this quote:

 "Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try and find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; He doesn't fill it, but on the contrary keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It says how I feel.  I started to cry when I read it and my very pregnant daughter who was about to take a nap came downstairs and asked if I was okay.  I said - yup - it's just the dead husband blues.  I read her the quote and she went back upstairs.  It was actually funny.  All the joys and sorrow all mixed up so that everything seems happy and grouchy all at the same time. 

Not a long blog - there is too much to say so maybe for once I will say very little.  May all the people we love be sitting at the table with us not just on holidays but every day.  May they be sitting at the table with us in our hearts and our spirit if they cannot be physically with it.  May our tears be of joy mixed in with sadness as all the good memories cover our faces with kisses so that we feel so loved that for even if only for a moment we can laugh deeply and forget our sorrow.

I'm thankful for all of you and wish that there is happiness and thanksgiving in your Thanksgiving.  All of us grief warriors together are a powerful family. xo xo 

1 comment:

  1. My husband passed away in Jan.2009 and I have been having a very blue day today. Our wedding anniversary would have been this Friday and I can't stop thinking about " the what ifs".
    I have met someone, but it is not the same.
    I too have to think of the many things that I am grateful for and get over it ! Happy Thanksgiving!